Yes, you must be wondering why haven’t i wrote…. probably for a very very very long time i kept this blog empty….. Kinda like as if i jaded it.
Anyway, in recent times, i’ve gotten too much information in my hardisk that i’m trying to filter and slot them into their various categories such as under a person’s name or under a particular event that happened…. with the whole experience like music, place, moods and all sorts that pertain to my 5 senses were captured and stored properly in my different categories.
Somehow, today…. i felt Different.
Different maybe because i’ve started to understand certain “truths” about a matter, about a person, and about things that happened around me and to me.
I used to blog about my daily and recent happenings and put up photos of my glorious friendships that i built with my friends, especially the very new and recent youth band and old people, erm, yeah OLD people. Hee.
They are new happenings for this entire year i would say. I’ve learnt alot and i’ve heard alot too. Yet, i couldn’t very much blog about it because of this disclaimer *Keep this to yourself* or *You CANNOT tell anyone*. Yah, and precisely these words were being said, whatever that i’d eventually write, could possibly just leak out some information. These information are kept under the *X-files* category. Even i don’t know how to name them.
I guess, i’ve understood fnally… after a year of great happenings… that allowed me to have my own conclusions. :) So, the happenings will have an answer to themselves. I can rest with the fact that the Alpha and Omega is Him. And that pretty much sealed my months of many thoughts unsettled and questions unanswered.
Somehow, my conversation with my MD today makes me think a little more and i don’t seem to be able to settle my thoughts on that. Well, it was nothing that he said, and nothing that i said. Perhaps it was something that we both heard - yeah, both heard that got us thinking through constantly. An awkward silent burst within me sometimes, when we gather in a group.
I guess i was saddened by several issues that has happened throughout the year - repeated issues of one’s struggles, constant lack of family support and a fight for one’s career.
I pray that people - all of us - including me, would learn to walk through life, learn its experiences and grow to mature with learning how to handle our own mistakes, our own failures and our own setbacks. And ultimately know that God holds us dearly to Him even when we fail and fall.
My conversation has spark forth a thought that stirs within my heart. A thought that makes me wanna ask some sensitive questions and perhaps not get an answer back. Why? Cos it’s just too sensitive lar.
Anyway, just as my MD feels the time is drawing nearer, i feel my plans are being adjusted. It’s as though it is at the back of me running and catching up and then reminding me about it all. Well, my heart pounds as i write this. I have no idea why.
Seems like, 15 months would make a difference.
I have understood that my GOOD GOD loves me and i can stand boldly and confidently despite the wrongs i have done. Why? Because, long time ago, i was saved by Jesus and Jesus has already paid the price for me.
I read something today about the Blood of Jesus. Somehow, it got me excited and i realised…. with the load-ful of information, i pray that the blood of Jesus will cover them all and protect everyone involved.
Jesus loves us and for that, there is no need to prove to anyone how good you are. We should just come to Jesus just the way we are.
I am nervous about my audition and i’m very thankful for Glyn. 
