The Little Music Maker

I think it’s good to be in mass com. You have a mind of your own and you fight for what is right for the good of all and what’s even better is, you DO NOT conform to the society’s taste of what’s good.

I enjoy the companionship of my best friend today after prayer meeting. We had breakfast together and we went to City Plaza to shop early in the morning at 9am. I was surprised i could get some nice dresses there. Anyway, i like to talk to her. She makes me feel HEARD and does not have a judgement placed instantaneously to put right what is supposedly wrong. There is perfection in imperfection, and imperfection in perfection - that is, if you bother to find it.

Pretty much the same, the struggle of being in an organization for a good 2 years has made me become nonchalant and pretty much xian about wanting to fight for what is already deemed as “structured systems to follow”. Sorry, i hate to conform. I have a mind of my own and unless it’s a proven fact that your theories or logical sense of judgement based on experience can override my wrongs, i’ll usually just take your opinions as your opinions. Hardly, i’d succumb to listening and obeying without giving a thought about whether it is a man-made issue or a God-heart-felt issue. Many times, agenda setting is there and many a times we or rather I think too much into it.

I have a set of beliefs system and values that i hold strongly to. Seldom things will change my prespectives of it but unless a stronger experience comes my way, it usually wouldn’t be shaken. Alright, but i’ve learnt in my psycho course that opinions can be changed easily, attitudes can be influenced drastically but beliefs and values are the core foundation on how you build your life on, which, only a dramatic experience in your life COULD possibly change it.

Funny how i loved to understand how people and relationships are like cos i used to have a great group of mad friends but honestly as the years go by, the number of friends lessens….

Today at prayer meeting, as usual, with some sorta frustrations laid in front of my eye that i’ve constantly ignored, i asked God for one thing….

“God i pray that Your love will overwhelm me. I want to love.”

I didn’t think it was much of a big request but i gathered that since my greatest revelation about God is love, it could possibly be tested ALL the time and there, i asked to learn how to love. I am a mini meanie and i admit i am. Oh well, But yes, really, i am asking God to teach me how to love.

OH, btw my BROTHERS ARE attached. WAH i feel like i’m watching a show where previously we were like kids, and i went through my relationships ups and downs and shared with them, and now they’re going to walk into their beloved relationships. I AM SOO HAPPY if any of you are reading this BUT u all better thank GOD for me in your life. May your valentine’s day be so happy and lovey. I love all of you.

Okay, so well, life is fun and growing older doesn’t mean growing older in numbers. It truly means growing older in stages and in the number of experiences you go through. Some people lead a tough life because they can handle the tough nonsense and still be strong while others go through some shiok-a-na-dan life because they’re just made to enjoy a good and great life. Still, God allows the sun to shine on all of them.

Woohoo. I am going to learn how to love from today. Yes, starting off… I love God, and of course! He loves me!